Parenting Makes a Difference

Do you ever think of blaming yourself? God blesses you with a child, you bring them up somehow then comes the day when you find out that you know nothing about your daughter/son. Who's to blame? Do you ever just even wonder for a moment that it's you? Even if partially? Have you ever seen a girl/guy in the street and thought to yourself: "I'm proud of my daughter/son for not doing this or that", then you realize they're doing this or that, or even worse?

I'm not trying to say that I'm an expert here, I actually only know a few things about this! I haven't raised anyone and I haven't been raised in any of the ways that I'll be talking about in the next few lines. I'm writing about cases I've seen in people I know or cases of popular people. This is what I know: the way you raise your children, since the day they're born, builds up a good part of their personalities.

You spoil them, they grow up wanting everything for themselves, being selfish, never understanding that they can't have everything, feeling that they can do whatever they wish, never caring about anyone else but themselves. You work too much and ignore them, they grow up missing manners and morals, never knowing the right from wrong, searching for attention and care and depending on their luck, they find it with a good or a bad person. You get too busy fighting with your partner, they grow up missing love and care, hating marriage, being dictators, never listening to others' opinions. You get a divorce, they grow up in a broken family, missing one half of the bringing up depending on which parent they're living with. You become too brutal, they grow up feeling very scared of you, even hating you sometimes, never opening up to you, never being able to take their own decisions. And in all cases, they do things behind your back, not necessarily wrong things.
Of course the results of the above ways would differ from one person to another, depending on the other part of their personalities, the one they're born with, the one that only the world raises. Like I said, I can't say I know much about these things, but I know that the best way to bring up a child is to befriend them. When they're young, if they love you, if they get the feeling that you care for them, they're going to listen to what you say. If you teach them everything with love, they're going to learn it better. I'm not saying that everything will be perfect with love, of course there's still a need for grounding and some shouting at times, but I believe that things will be easier this way. When they're teenagers, if you're friends, if you're young at heart, if you're cool, if you're friends with their friends, if you're always up to date, they're going to trust you and talk with you. If you don't give them the feeling that your coming from another time and another world, they'll believe you. If you give them the chance to share in taking decisions, they'll do the same. If you don't usually give them the feeling that they have to do things and are not allowed to do others, they'll take the decisions they should take if you convince them. In their adolescence, if you give them their space, their independence, their freedom of choice, they're going to listen to your advice and tell you their problems.

Parenting is hard work and a huge responsibility, one we shouldn't take unless we're sure we're going to do the best we can at it. Parenting affects you, your child and your society. Parenting should be taken seriously. Not everything in parenting comes naturally. Parenting is both the mother's and the father's job. Parenting makes the whole difference, so if you're not sure you can do it, I think you should wait until you have an idea.

Comments

  1. "the way you raise your children, since the day they're born, builds up a good part of their personalities." This is a good point!

    It's different when you're inside. I'm a son... but believe me .. it's hard to be a parent!! I even reconsidered marriage 'cause of that.

    I my self suffered from the way my parents raised me up.. but in the same time I saw sons & daughters abusing the existence of Posts like yours and they started to blame their parents for their problems!!

    It's not about being ready! 'cause the one who's doing it the wrong way will feel he's ready (That's why he married in the first place)

    I guess if u feel u r not ready u should start it, at least this will make u cautious and will help u to pay more attention to how you affect your kids ;)

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  2. I'm sure the blame is never to be put on the parents only, I've already mentioned that.And yes, some children will be given everything and would still do everything wrong then blame the parents.

    It might not about not being ready, but it might be about planning and asking around and reading about it, about doing your homework.

    And about the last part, you're right, I still have a lot to learn about it and I have all the time in the world =)

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  3. No the only time you'll have to learn will start when you have a kid :)

    Believe me it's never like the books .. and you still can read about it .. but the practical Experience is different!! Still the reading will be useful though

    Rabena yorzo2ek isA

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