A Lost Self, Part Three

They grow closer everyday, she enjoys being with him but it's nothing like what she feels in her dream that has become a daily dream. He does not make her feel like the queen of his universe. She does not feel free when she's with him, she feels enslaved in the need for his love. With him, she lives a flat life, with no ups or downs, with no meaning, with no rhyme. She lives an acceptable life, but not a happy one. Then the day comes and he proposes to her...

She thinks about the time she spends with him, about how his touch does not make her shiver, about how his kiss is nothing but lips touching. About how her life with him is a life of feelings that lack meaning. She thinks of how she's been with him for months but knows nothing about him but his name. She thinks how she would feel if he died, and she knows that she wouldn't care. Then she remembers the last time she reacted upon that thought and she agrees to marry him...

She begins the journey of knowing who he really is, he tells her his age and his job. He tells her he lives in a studio near his workplace and that it's better if he moves in with her since her place is bigger. He never invites her to his place, and she never asks. They decide not to have a wedding, they see no reason for it. She doesn't care about wearing a white dress or eve celebrating. This marriage to her is nothing but assuring that she'll have someone to love her and to love back for as long as she lives, fake love. They don't go on honeymoon either, he tells her he has to work on the next day and won't be able to travel for a while. They move in together, and a few weeks later, he told her that he left his job after having a fight with his manager.

To be continued


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