Lying Hope

You know how we always say that hope helps people get through their lives? We say it gives strength, it doubles our energy, it makes us never give up... I don't know about you, but I always say that. Being a very optimistic person, I have always relied on hope. But then recently I feel confused, I don't know what to think anymore, when to have hope. On January 24th, 2011 I was filled with hope that a revolution would start the next day. And even though this hope was based on reasonable thoughts, now it feels like I only convinced myself with what I wanted to happen. Because this was a kind of hope that I don't have a control over; it wasn't about me it was about other people deciding to take the streets. So now this hope that I had only feels like a wish that came true. Because, isn't hope a lot bigger than that?

I feel confused about when having hope helps and when it harms, because it does, right? What if I keep hoping for something that I can never control and it never happens? Wouldn't that be a fake attachment that will take control over me? This is the lying hope, the one that keeps telling you that it is possible and it can happen and you should never give up, when there's nothing you can actually do. 

For example what if you love someone who's "out of your league" and that person doesn't love you back, and sees you as someone they can never love back, not only this they're also in love with someone else, wouldn't that be lying hope that imprisons you and keeps you from looking for love elsewhere? What if you have a friend who keeps breaking their promises in a way that ruins your days? But you like that friend and keep hoping that they'll change but you know that you have no control over them. So you're only hoping for a miracle that might and might not happen according to what your friend decides to do. You live your life hoping for your friend to change and meanwhile they keeping ruining your days. What if you get engaged to someone who's socially compatible then find out that you're personally incompatible. Then you decide not to give up your engagement, marry them, do your part of changing your habits and keep hoping for them to change. You live your life having a fight with them everyday while you wait. Aren't all these ways of lying hope harming us?

In the above examples it might be clear that this hope is fake, although I doubt it would be that clear when one of us is put in that situation. Yet, in other situations it's not that, or even at all, clear if this hope is true or fake. Sometimes you rely on your feeling that your Creator sends to you, but this doesn't happen a lot, plus you might even misinterpret the signs. So when should one have hope and when should we lose it? When should we let it guide us and when should we detach ourselves from it? How do we know what is fake and what is true? It is so tricky, and its consequences are not by any means small. Should I lose hope in anything that I can't control? But that would make me a pessimist, not even realist and I might lose a lot of people and things that I could've been with/ could've been mine in the process. Should I lose hope with time? How much time? And wouldn't I be wasting my time and energy during that time? Should I have hope forever and never give up? But wouldn't that turn into obsessions?

I know the middle way is always the answer, yet I still don't know where to find that middle way. But for hope, I know that one should never ever ever give up on whatever they can control. We should all keep trying until we reach our dreams. And for the rest, well, find the middle way. So back to the revolution's example, on January 28th when I joined the revolution my hope was true a one, because I took part and I tried, and still am trying, to change the fake present into a truthful future.


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