A Lost Self, Part Four

She remembers....
He used her, and abused her. Whenever she tried to resist it, he only needed to tell her that he is leaving, and she'd forget all about resistance. He hypnotized her and she did all he wanted, he took her money and her life. Soon enough she discovered that he is an alcohol addict, unemployed and broke. She thought many times of leaving him, but by that time she knew she will never find anyone else. Time passed and she now had to go out with her worn out pajamas that had become the most uncomfortable. She didn't know what to do, she had a great fear of being alone, but her life was sucked out of her, she was left with not enough money to buy food every month, she lost all friends whom he treated so badly, she lost herself, even in her dreams. She was alone, so alone, even with him she was alone.

Then the day came when didn't have enough money for him, he came back drunk and hit her. She remembered how she thought those things only happened in movies or books, cliched ones, but now at that moment she knew she was wrong. She understood the true meaning of domestic violence, and she understood that not all cliches are wrong. A week later, her marriage has ended. She lost so much in the past years, but at least she learned that she had to stop losing.

The days after her divorce were just a series of thoughts about her mistakes, her losses, and cliches.  She remembered herself as a child watching fairytales and falling in love with every Prince Charming. Then herself as a teenager being told that fairytales don't exist in the real world and not believing those words. Then herself as a lady on her own, living in the real world and understanding that it had nothing to do with fairytales. She thought of all the cliched love stories she read and watched and she felt like she might be wrong....

To be continued...


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